My Very Own Glasshealer
Some lessons take a few rounds to sink in
Got up and out at dawn to shoot photo at the Eno River in North Carolina yesterday.
Truth be told, I haven’t picked up my camera FOR ME in some time. For all the many special interests I have obsessed over, this one has always been the constant, from my first black and white photos showcased in the hs show at the mall to saving me after quitting drinking seven years ago to two marketing jobs and a festival next month.
I once side stepped my “medium of self-discovery” to “make people look cooler than they are” Those are not my words btw…
Kinda judgy tbh, but still a testament that I do a pretty good job if the commenter thought higher of people’s cool after I shot them. If I am to be completely honest, a few ego monsters maaaaay have been created with some, NOT ALL of my help…unknowingly of course because the very idea of an egomaniac would never let anyone else take credit for what they thought they had done…nature of the beast.
Despite how “good” I thought I was getting, the focus and attention was always on someone else and while the praise felt good, it wasn’t ever saying much about me as an artist. I’m great at the types of pics that give others exposure, but I can name volumes of others that are worlds better.
My point is that just when the medium was giving me glimpses of who I was without escaping my emotions with a glass half empty if you know what I mean….I took a turn from what was showing me who I was and veered off to a cause bigger than myself thereby leaving myself at the starting line.
Do I regret that choice?
Absolutely not, it taught me lessons and made me stick up for myself in ways, that frankly I was never taught how to.
Lastly, I’m extremely grateful that I have found my way back to this path to defining my wants, needs and desires through the lens, at first light with somewhat less but so much more.
